


Till the sandman he comes

by Winmance



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jensen, FBI Agent Jared, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kidnapped Jensen, M/M, PTSD, Past Rape/Non-con, Top Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-01-09 01:40:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12266307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winmance/pseuds/Winmance
Summary: When he was six, Jensen was abducted for several months. When he was rescued, the traumatism of the events and the lack of professional help leave him with irreversible psychological scars. Everything had changed, except for one thing: his love for his best friend, Jared, who seems to be the only one able to understand him.Twenty years later, Jared is an FBI agent who just been assigned a new case: he’s known as Le Marchand de Sable, in other words, The Sandman, who has escaped from prison. Between the memories of the past and the facts from the present, he will have to figure everything out to protect Jensen.





	1. Big boy mission

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to arielgryffinpuff who beta all this work !

 

_1996_

_Jared was waiting for his mom in his room, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He had already put all the toys out of their boxes: the red truck for him, and the yellow car for Jensen. Usually, he was the one taking the car, because Jensen always managed to convince him to take the car, something about Jared not knowing how to make truck sound good enough. But today, Jared was angry at Jensen, and what a better way to show it than taking his toy?_

_Every single day without exceptions, Jensen and he meet in front of Jensen’s house. Since his parents start work so early, they can’t be here and they say that it’s safer to do the walk with someone else. It’s not a problem for Jared, because he loves being with Jensen, and he feels like a big boy when he gets to school alone, without his parents. But today there is a problem, because Jensen isn’t there when he waits for him in front of his house in the morning. So yeah, maybe Jared was five minutes late, but Jensen always waits for him. Plus, Jared could see that Jensen’s room windows were open. It was dangerous to let it open all day. Jared wanted to go to school, but maybe Jensen was just not ready yet? But he still wasn’t there twenty minutes later, when Jared’s dad pulled up in front of his house, anger all over his face. He was supposed to text him once he was at school. However, as soon as Jared told him why he wasn’t at school yet, the anger was replaced by worry. Jared didn’t get why. Jensen had probably over slept, he was supposed to wake up on his own. It wasn’t nice to make Jared wait, but there was nothing to be worried about._

_He didn’t go to school that day. Instead, he was confined in his room, like when he was sick. He was angry at Jensen, because he had missed a day at school because of him, and his parents were probably angry that he didn’t do as he was told. He failed being a big boy and it was all because of Jensen._

_“Jay, can I come in?” He heard his mother ask him from across the door._

_“Yes mommy,” he replied, impatient to know when Jensen will be here._

_His mother’s eyes were red and inflated, like they are when she cries. Jared felt like someone just punched him on the stomach, and he found it hard to swallow. His mom gave him a smile before putting him in her arms._

_“I’m so sorry baby,” she whispers, kissing his head._

_“What’s wrong mom? Where’s Jensen?” He was worried too. He would give the truck to Jensen without hesitation now._

_“Honey, Jensen, he… He’s not in his house. We don’t know where he is.”_

_“But… He needs to be here. We’re supposed to play together.”_

_Tears were running down his face now. What does that mean? Where was Jensen? They never do something without the other. That was a pact._

_“The police are gonna find him. Don’t worry.”_

_That didn’t stop Jared’s tears, nor his worries. Jensen wasn’t here, and that was the only thing that he could think about._

 

 

 

 

“Padalecki,” he hears coming from the doorway, “You coming to the barbecue next weekend?”

Jared lifts his head from the papers, looking at his colleague. Chad had a big smile on his face, and even if he would like to say no, to tell him that he would rather spend his Saturday at his house, in his old hoodies, binge watching his new favorite show. But he already said no to the last two invitations, and Chad was his best friend. The relationships with colleagues is primitive in their kind of work.

“Yes, of course,” he replies, “I’m bringing the beers.”

“Awesome!”

With that, his colleague slipped out of view. He sighs, leaning on his chaise, letting all the stress of the past several weeks drift away. It was 6pm, and they just ended a tough case. A woman named Miranda was drugging men before emasculating them with a razor and letting them bleed out on the side of the road. Five men, four dead. They caught her before she could cut his penis, but the man was traumatized, and couldn’t stopped crying. Jared had been the one to overcome Miranda, who was screaming and hitting everyone, trying to cut them with her razor.

It was a hard work, but it was worth it. The joy on the family’s face when they saw their beloved one after being scared was probably the best feeling in the world, and all the tiredness evaporated in a moment.

He comes out of his thoughts when his superior enters the room.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure Jeff,” Jared replies, leaning on his chair.

Jeffrey Morgan was his boss and his mentor since the beginning. They had known each other since Jared was a kid, and they were practically family, spending Christmas and New Eve together every year at Jared’s parents’ house. 

“What’s up?” He could read his friend’s face like a book, and right now, he was worried.

“I just got a message from the office. We have a new case,” he says, giving Jared a folder filled with sheets.

Jared frowns. It was uncommon to have a case so soon after the last one, even more when the last one had been so hard.

 He opened the folder and froze immediately. He could recognize this face anywhere. Those big and animalistic black eyes, the smile that haunted him for years with teeth that seemed to come from everywhere. Jared closes his eyes and throws the files on his desk.

“Why are you giving me that?” He hisses, anger in his voice.

“I know it’s bringing back memories…”

“Memories?” Jared laughs incredulously, “This man kidnapped my best friend. He tortured him, he raped him. Jensen was broken, I was broken. It’s not memories. It’s traumatism. And you know that.” He was aware that he was almost yelling, but he couldn’t care less. How could Jeffrey bring back this monster? He was in jail, will be for all his life. The case was closed. So why did Jeffrey seem so upset?

“He escaped,” he told him with a calm voice.

Jared could feel his heart stop beating in the second, his vision was white and the ball in his stomach was back. No. He couldn’t be back. Not now. Not twenty years later. Not now that life was so good, so perfect. Jensen was the CEO of a successful society, hell, it was probably the most successful society of the country. He was everywhere, on every journal, every TV channel, he was the new face of America. But most of all, he was a survivor, a victim. Jared couldn’t take that away from him.

“I can’t do it,” he replies after a moment. “I can’t. You need to find someone else. Chad will do it.”

“Chad doesn’t know him as much as you do.”

“I’m too deep in it.”

Jeffrey gave him a little smile, trying to give him some sort of comfort.

“I know Jay. But you’re our best agent, and I know that you want him in jail more than anyone.”

Jared pauses for a moment. That was true. Over the years, he had become one of the best agents in their departments, always knowing exactly where to search, how to deal with the dangerous and tough situations. He was good at his job.

“I don’t want Ackles to be involved,” he informs his boss.

Jeffrey only nods, before patting Jared shoulder affectionately.

“If you need something, or just need to talk, just call me, anytime, day or night. Got it?”

Jared only smiles before putting his jacket on his back. He takes the file and hides it in his drawer. He doesn’t want anyone to find it, because even if Jeffrey doesn’t say anything, it was clear that this job must be a secret. How people would react if they know that a dangerous prisoner had escaped from prison?

The drive home had never felt so long. He could see the man’s face everywhere, from the passenger in the car next to his, to the woman on the Walmart publicity. He needs to figure out how to process it. He can’t let his feelings and personal life come into the picture. Should he call his mom? He really wanted too. But it wouldn’t be fair to bring back this monster of the past into her head. He had chosen this job; nobody had to pay for his own choices.

He parked his car in the garage and took a big breath. He could do it. Just another case, that’s all it is. He opened the door of the house, and was welcomed by a wonderful smell. He smiles, going straight to the kitchen, where he finds his lover, head in the stove. He puts both of his hands around the oh-so-lovely waist, so they were back to chest, and he drops several kisses on the other’s neck.

“Hey hubby,” Jensen says, driving one of his hand into Jared’s hair.

“Hey baby,” Jared whispers, searching Jensen’s mouth so he could kiss him. “Missed you today.”

“Missed you too,” he answers, letting his head fall on his shoulder, “I came back earlier and thought that I could cook for once.”

Jared hummed, hugging Jensen as tight as he could. He felt his husband smile against his cheek before turning around so they could be face to face, Jared’s hand holding him close.

“How was your day?” Jensen asks.

“Good,” he kisses him again, “Yours?”

“Boring, but good,” Jensen closed his eyes at the feeling of Jared lips against his Adam’s apple.

“How long before dinner is ready?”

“Thirty minutes.” He moans when Jared slides his hands in his pants.

“Better hurry then.”

Jensen laughs, throat deployed, and Jared felt a warm feeling in his chest. Jensen was here, with him, nowhere else. They will be ok. He will protect him against everyone.

 “I love you,” he told him, looking directly into his eyes.

“I love you too,” Jensen answered, his eyes full of joy and love, before letting Jared rising him from the ground, his legs around his waist. “Always have, always will,” he whispers in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here the first chapter.  
> Tell me what you think of it, and if you want more


	2. Cooking Turkey

_1998_

_Jensen’s parents divorced a year after Jensen was back. It wasn’t surprising, really. All they ever did was yell at each other, crying, and screaming more. Jensen knew his father was seeing another woman. He heard his mother saying it. It was his fault, he knows that, and his parents didn’t even try to pretend that it wasn’t. He hadn’t said it, of course, because every time he wanted to talk, the words were stuck in his throat. He could talk with Jared, but it was impossible with the others. His sister told him that he was like a baby, not able to talk, eat, even wetting his pants. She was saying it to be mean, but it was true, and probably the reason why his parents were so angry at him all the time._

_Six months later, his mom brought her first boyfriend home. He was tall, muscular, had blue eyes, and a beard. Jensen screamed, his entire body shaking, hot tears running on his face. The guy’s face had faded away, and he was so livid that for a moment, Jensen thought he was gonna pass out. His mom tried to reassure him, but after twenty minutes of hearing him screaming, she decided to call Jared. How funny was it, that she had been waiting for him to make a sound for half a year, and now he was, she couldn’t wait for him to stop?_

_Jared had come over, in his batman pajamas, the same that Jensen had, and he had held him until Jensen was calm again._

_“He had a beard,” he whispered into Jared’s ear, so no one would hear him._

_Jared didn’t say anything but held him tighter, and that was fine with Jensen. Jared was protecting him. The man was gone. His mom didn’t bring anyone else after that._

 

 

 

“My mom called,” he says, head on Jared’s chest, his arms around him. Their legs were interlacing, allowing their skin to touch.

“Yeah?” Jared replies, caressing Jensen’s arms gently.

“Yeah. She asked if we wanted to have lunch with her and her new boyfriend Saturday,” Jensen says, sarcastically. It was the third boyfriend she was presenting him, but his sister let slip that there had been a lot more. He couldn’t blame her for not telling him, they weren’t close at all, only seeing each other once or twice a year, and never calling.

“What did you say?”

“That I will see her with you. To which she answered that if you couldn’t come, it wasn’t a problem.”

Jared stopped his movements, making Jensen let up his head so they could look at each other directly in the eyes.

“She didn’t say that.”

“Yes, she did!” Jensen replies, biting his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh.

Jared was silent for a second before starting to laugh, quickly joined by Jensen. They both had understood a long time ago that Jensen’s mom will never approve their union, or even love him. But actually telling Jensen to come to a family dinner without him? That was new.

“What did you answer?”

Jensen put his head on the pillow next to Jared’s, their faces so close that they could feel the other breathing. Jensen put one of his hand in Jared’s hair, playing with it.

“I told her that I wouldn’t come without my husband,” he smiles before giving a quick kiss at Jared’s lips, “I know you’re tired from your last case, but maybe it will help change your ideas. I think you need to take a breath for work now that you’re not gonna have any case for a long time.”

For a second, Jared’s face fades away, his beautiful smile completely gone, and something in his eyes that Jensen couldn’t read. It only lasts a moment, but it was enough to worry Jensen. He knows that sometimes, cases could fuck with Jared’s head, even more when it was a case as hard as the last one, but usually, he would talk a little about it - not in detail because Jensen couldn’t support it - but about his feelings, and everything, and when it was really too much, he would go see the psychologist they got at work, or even their own.

But it was something else here, Jensen could tell, he knows Jared well enough to tell when something was off.

“Are you ok, Jay?”

“Of course,” Jared answers, apparently surprised, “I just… Thought about the case, you know. But I’m okay.”

Jensen nods, not entirely convinced, but he decides to drop it. If Jared wasn’t ready to tell him what was bothering him, then he will have to deal with it and wait. Sam always told him that he can’t control everything, even if he would like too. But it wasn’t only about controlling things here. It was about Jared. He refuses to let anything happen to his husband, and he was too well aware that when you don’t talk about something, it can’t go away.

“You should call your mom and tell her that we’ll be there,” Jared answers before getting up, “I need a shower,” he says, making a disgusted face when he smells himself, “You coming?”

Jensen laughs, his arms under his head, “That was so sexy, love, how could I say no?”

 

 

 

 

“Are you ready?” Jared asks, stopping the car in front of Jensen’s mom’s house. When Jensen had come home after his abduction, his mom decided that they all needed a new beginning, somewhere where no one would know them, or be aware that such a horrible thing had happened. She thought that by leaving that house, she would leave all the monsters behind. She couldn’t have been more wrong, and they all paid the price.

“As much as I can be, yeah,” Jensen replies, letting out a long sigh, “I just find it so stupid. It’s not like I have a word to say in their relationship. I don’t care. She could marry a monkey and it would be the same for me.”

“Well, I mean, a monkey would be pretty cool,” Jared answers, looking as serious as he could.

They looked at each other for a moment before bursting with laughter, tears forming in their eyes.

“I’m gonna ask for a divorce,” Jensen replies, still laughing.

“I bet you are!” Jared told him, pulling him forward by his shirt so he could kiss him.

“I love you,” Jensen whispers once they break their kiss.

“Love you too.”

They shared a complicit smile before finally getting out of the car. There were three other cars in front of the house, Jensen recognize Joshua’s one, but not the others. One of them was certainly his mother’s boyfriend one’s, but he had no idea who the other belongs too. His sister still lives with their mom, and even if she wanted too, she still doesn’t have a car.

Jensen knocks on the door and waits for his mother to come. He couldn’t wait for this to be over with, to just go home and spend the entire day with Jared. Plus, he had a lot of work to catch up on, he couldn’t lose time with such uninteresting thing as a family dinner. But it was too late to go back now; his mom was in front of him, her forced smile on her lips. She used to give him a real smile, once, a smile full of love and promises, but it was a long time ago, and sometimes he wasn’t even sure if it was real.

“Hello Jensen,” she says, not even trying to take him in her arms. “Jared.”

“Hi Donna,” Jared answers, giving her the flowers he insisted on bringing.

She took them and murmurs a little “thank you” barely audible, before letting them enter in the house. There was a familiar smell of cooking turkey feeding the air, something that his mom used to do at Christmas when he was little. It must be a really important and serious relationship if she was cooking.

“Come on, we are already in the dining room.”

They could hear laugh and vivid discussion coming from the other room, and Jensen started to feel bad. He knows that the second he enters the room, all the joy would be gone, and they will have a quiet and tense dinner.

“Fred, this is my son, Jensen, and his… Friend, Jared. Jensen, this is Fred,” She places both of her hands on the man shoulders, before moving to the man next to him, “And this is Eric, his son and Danielle, his wife.”

Jensen could have said that himself. The men were so much a like that it was kind of scary: both with dark hair, short on the sides, longer on the top, with blue eyes and lips so little that it was hard to identify them. They were both wearing suits, which Jensen find kinda funny because his little sister told him that Eric was unemployed.

Danielle was everything the perfect wife would be pictured as. She was pretty, with blond well-capped hair, really light make up, but enough to hide all the imperfections, and even a perfect manicure. Oh, his mom was surely in love with her.

“Husband,” he says, looking directly at his mom, challenging her, “Jared is my husband. Not my friend.”

His mom bits her lips and for a moment, it seems like she was ready to say something, but she didn’t. She only smiled, apparently just realizing what she had said.

“Yes, of course honey. I’m sorry.”

He nods before sitting at the opposite of the table, Jared next to him. He saw the smile on his sister’s lips and winked to her. He loves his sister. She was the only one who didn’t treat him like he was a freak, or some kind of hurt bird. Maybe it was because she didn’t know him before, didn’t know how he used to be. For her, this Jensen, it was the normal Jensen. She was treating him like any sister would treat his brother, pranking him and telling him that he was dumb every time she could. His brother, however, didn’t even acknowledge his presence.

“I’m really glad to finally meet you, Jensen,” Fred says, a big smile on his face. It was as fake as his mother’s one. “I heard a lot of good things about you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, your mom is really proud of you.”

“I bet she is,” Jensen took a sip of wine, expecting the awkward conversation to end soon.

He thought his wishes were exhausted when his mom came back with the food, disposing it on the table, but apparently, Fred and his son were having none of that.

“Of course she is. You’re one of the most powerful and rich man of the entire country, which mother wouldn’t be proud of that?” Eric said loudly, eyes filled of admiration. “I mean, I would be proud just to work with you, so I can’t imagine how it fees for your mom.”

So that’s what it was about. His mother didn’t invite him so he would meet her boyfriend. She was waiting for him to hire her son-in-law, and probably even Fred too. He was so stupid sometimes. Why would his mother would want to see him if it wasn’t to ask for something? He couldn’t blame her, he had a more than great position, so why not let his family enjoy it?

It still hurts though, because even if he didn’t love his mom like before, he still does, in his own way. But being used like that? It only shows him how his mom was really feeling about him.

Food was placed in front of him but he couldn’t eat it. He was too upset, and knows pretty well that the second some aliment would go in his mouth, he would throw up everything. He feels Jared’s arms on his thigh, squeezing it gently, but it wasn’t enough. He wants to get the fuck out of here, go into his bed in his old hoodies, and hide in Jared’s big arms.

“You’re not eating Jensen?” Fred asks, mouth full of food.

He didn’t even had time to answer before his mother was already sighing, glass full of wine in her hand.

“Jensen doesn’t eat. Never. It surprises me that he still can get up and walk.”

“I eat,” Jensen defends himself immediately.

“Please Jensen. You’ve been looking at your food for the last fifty minutes.”

Really, had it already been so much time?

“Yeah, well, I find it difficult to eat when I’m upset, like a lot of people.”

His mom was silent for a moment, like she was judging if she should answer that or not. Because what was worse than having a drama during a family dinner?

“I thought you were doing better. I mean, I never believed it, but Jared and even your sister told me so. Saying how well you were doing, how strong you were. Guess they were wrong, weren’t they?”

Jensen bit his lip. He wanted to answer, to yell at her, but the words were stuck in his throat, and he hated himself for that, for showing such weakness in front of her, for proving her right. He was better, he really was. The little kid who wouldn’t talk or eat? He was gone. Most of the time. Practically all the time. He was happy, he was cooking, smiling, laughing. All the things that he found difficult to do for so long. It was hard, but Jared helped him, Sam helped him. But with his mom? It was like everything he ever learns about self-confidence and dealing with his issues was gone.

“He is, better. Maybe you can’t see it, but I do. Surely, it must have something to do with the fact that I see him more than once a year,” Jared answers, challenging Donna to say anything, and if Jensen thought that he couldn’t be more in love, well, he was wrong.

“I tried to understand him for a very long time, Jared. But I can’t. He’s… You know, I wanted my baby back. I wanted my lovely and oh-so happy son back.” Jensen could see tears in her eyes, and feels a knot in his stomach, slowly growing into his throat, “But even once we found him, even once he was home, he was… He wasn’t here.” She looked directly into Jensen’s eyes. “I tried, Jensen. I really did. I thought, if we didn’t talk about it, it would go away, and you would be happy again. But it never goes away. And I think that the real reason is that you never came back. You’re still in this basement, Jensen. You never escape.”

Jensen could feel hot tears escaping onto his face, and he quickly wiped them away. No. He _was_ here. He was with Jared. He wasn’t a prisoner anymore. He was free. How could she not see that? He had been with _Him_ for a long time. More than the five months he had physically been with him. He knows that. He had been broken, stuck with him, he could feel him next to him; he could feel him inside of him for so long afterwards. He still does sometimes. And the pain, God, the pain. On his body, his waist, his head, his stomach, and why did he never feed him? The sand. The fucking sand. It _burns_. But pain means you’re alive. Pain is present.

“I’m here!” He yells, before taking his knife, cutting just enough of his skin so he could bleed and shows it to his mother, “I’m here mom!”

Then he felt Jared big arms around him, putting the knife away. His mom was crying, his sister was so pale it looks like she was gonna pass out. But Jared smiled. Reassurance smile, soft word, sweet caress.

“I’m here,” he whispers to Jared, waiting for him to confirm it. Because what if he wasn’t really here?

“Yes you are, baby,” Jared replies before kissing his forehead. “Let’s go home.”

They didn’t say goodbye, didn’t say anything at all. The ride from home was silent, and Jensen could tell Jared was angry. It had been 5 years since the last time he cut himself, because Jared was working in a case in another country and couldn’t come home for the night. Jensen had past the night in his closet, a razor in his hand. Then he closed his eyes and he dreamt, no, he remembered. He hates that. Hates being such a freak sometimes, but he can’t help it, as much as he tries.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says once they’re in their bedroom.

Jared frowns, surprised, before giving him a sad smile.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about Jen. Your mom…” Jared had trouble contain his anger, “What she said… God, I wanted to punch her.”

“She’s a bitch,” Jensen replies, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yes she is!”

Jared let out a laugh, living all the tension leaving his body. He falls on the bed, eyes on the celling. Jensen joins him, lying next to him and taking his hand in his.

“You are here, Jensen. Nowhere else. I’ll never leave you.”

“I know,” Jensen answers, putting his head on Jared’s chest.

There was something in Jared’s tone that was scaring him, he sounds too convincing, like he was telling it to someone else, forbidden anyone to try to take him away. His mom’s words had fucked with his head way too much, waking up his dormant paranoia. At least now he was sure they wouldn’t have to see her for a really, really long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think of this chapter, and if you like it so far !  
> Thanks all for the comments


	3. Date Night

_2003_

_“Dude, they didn’t!” Jared laughs, throwing his pillow in Jensen’s head._

_“Yes they did!”_

_“And how do you know that?”_

_“Because I saw them!”_

_“No you did not,” Jared says, his voice going high against his will._

_“Yes, I did. I told you, I saw Chad with Emma Smith, talking about going to the fairground tonight. They say they’ll do all the romantic attractions, and eating cotton candy and all that shit,” Jensen was gesturing what was supposed to look like a sweet face but failed royally._

_“I don’t believe you.”_

_“Dude, I’m your best friend,” Jensen replies dramatically, sounding almost hurt, hands on his heart._

_“You’re more than that, Jen,” Jared whispers, biting on his lower lip._

_Jensen smiled before throwing the pillow back to Jared. “Of course you are, you know what I mean.”_

_Jared didn’t say anything but he was smiling too now. So what if they didn’t kiss? It doesn’t mean they were less of a couple than anyone else. They were in love, more than any of the other couples they knew._

_“We should go,” Jensen says, sounding nervous._

_“Where?”_

_“To the fairground. So we can see Chad and Emma, since you don’t believe me,” he rolls his eyes, like it was the most annoying idea he’s ever had._

_“I do believe you, but yeah, it would be good to be sure.”_

_They were both smiling stupidly, excited about their new plan._

_“It’s a date then.”_

_“Yes it is,” If he smiles any harder, Jared’s jaw would probably break._

 

“I went to the basement. He wasn’t here,” Jared told his boss. “I thought that maybe he would go back to France so I sent the pictures to all the airports. I don’t know if it will be enough.”

“You can’t do anything more than that Jay.”

“I wish I could.”

“I know,” Jeff gave him a little smile, but Jared could tell he was as upset at him. It’s been four days since the man had escaped from jail, and they still didn’t have any ideas of where he may be. It was like back then, they couldn’t find any clues or any witnesses. They couldn’t make his picture public, and even if they could, Jared doesn’t think it would help them, quit the opposite.

“Maybe we should ask someone else to help us, to come with a new clear look.”

“Who?” Jared asked.

“Chad, maybe? He’s your friend, I know, but he’s also a really good agent.”

Jared though about it for a moment. Chad was good, really good at his job. Plus, a new look is always something positive for a case, even more when it’s such a personal one. The three of them had been friends for a long time - even if Jensen and he had some disputes together, Jared knows that Chad loves Jensen, even if he would never say it.

“Yeah, ok. I’ll talk to him.”

Jared sends a text to his friend and waits for him in his office. They needed to find something, anything that could tell them where the man was. It wasn’t just about Jensen, it was also about the safety of all the potential kids. He escaped from jail exactly twenty years later. It couldn’t be a coincidence, there was something else. Before Jensen, he had taken two other children. They had been found dead when they rescued Jensen, bodies lying on the floor next to him. One of them had been dead for at least a year; the smell was so intense that some of the officers had thrown up. Thinking about the fact that Jensen had to actually live with the bodies of other children so close to him, had to see them every day and night, smell this horrific odor, knowing that he was the next one, it was just too much for Jared. Killing the kids had been a part of the man’s plan. His final action. Jensen said that every night he would kiss the dead kids head and say goodnight.

“…wanted to talk to me, Jay?”

Jared almost fell from his chair when he heard his friend talking, but he quickly regained his serious composure.

“Yeah, I need you on a case.”

“A case?” Chad frowns and closes the door, “A secret one I guess.”

“Yes.”

“You’re gonna need to tell me a little more Jaybird.”

“A prisoner escaped from prison,” he says, not mentioning anything about the nickname. “Thierry DuPont.”

He saw Chad’s smile quickly fade away, his expression full of fear.

“You don’t mean…”

“Yes. This one.”

Chad didn’t say anything more for several minutes, only looking at the file in front of him.

“We can’t tell Jensen,” he finally announces.

“No. We can’t.”

“Jensen is… He is strong. Don’t get me wrong. I mean, do you know how much people admire and fear him at the same time? We can’t let any of this getting out.”

“I _know_ that, Chad,” Jared had to control his anger. He knows Jensen better than anyone, he knows what he can handle or not. And this? It’s literally Jensen’s worst nightmare.

“No, Jay, you don’t get it. I’m not saying that Jensen can’t handle this. He will, I’m sure of that, because he is so fucking strong. What I’m saying, is that people fear him. He’s some sort of God for half of them, because he has money and power. But everybody wants that. If they know what happened to Jensen, or that his fucking nightmare is free, some of them could see an opportunity.”

Jared knows that Chad was right. He thought about this too, about how people would react, what they may do. He had seen horrific things while working here, and he knows what people are capable of.

“We need to protect him.”

“And how are we going to do that? We can’t hire people to follow him, he’s gonna realize that something isn’t right,” Jared didn’t tell it to Chad, but with what happened this weekend, Jensen was paranoid, asking him to check every door every few minutes, locking all the windows. It ends up with the two of them sleeping in the attic, because it’s the only room of the house which has a big window that can’t be reach from anywhere else then the roof, which is impossible to get to. Jensen made sure of that.

“Can’t you take a vacation?”

“Yeah, right, it’s not like Jensen is managing a society or anything.”

“You don’t need to be an asshole.”

Jared sighs wearily. Chad was right, he had no right to be angry at his friend, he was only trying to help him, help them. But it was frustrating and scary to think that they couldn’t protect Jensen.

“Sorry man. It’s just…”

“I know,” Chad gave him a fond smile, “We’re gonna find something.”

 

 

Turns out they passed the entire day trying to find a way to protect Jensen, or any clues of where the man could be, in vain.

“Dude, we need to take a break, like, right now,” Chad says, kicking his shoes off.

“Yeah, Jensen’s probably gonna be home soon.” It was already 7pm but Jensen had a big meeting today, so he probably hadn’t left his office yet.

“Alright, see you tomorrow then,” Chad gathered his things but hesitated before turning back toward Jared, “I know it’s hard, but try not to think too much about it. Just, be happy and enjoy the time you’re spending with your husband, alright?”

“I will.” Jared knew that it was easier to say it than actually do it, but he will try, for Jensen.

 

 

Jared enters the towering building, quickly showing his badge so he could go upstairs. It was 8pm but there still was a lot of people working, some of them glued to their computers, others discussing what sounded like important things. Jared didn’t acknowledge them, and went straight to the big office at the end of the corridor. He knocks on the door and waits for an answer. When nothing comes, he knocks a second time, stronger. The door finally opened, revealing an aggravated Jensen.

“I told you I-” Jensen stopped talking as soon as he saw who was here, “Jay.”

“Is it the wrong time?” Maybe he should have called before coming.

“No, of course not! Never the wrong time for you,” Jensen lets him in, a smile on his face.

Jared tried to find somewhere to put the bag of food, but he couldn’t find it, all the surfaces covered with papers.

“I thought you may want to eat something, but you seem busy.”

“Sorry,” Jensen quickly cleaned one of the low tables, before sitting on the couch, “It was a crazy day, but I’m starving.”

Jared smiles and sits next to Jensen, unpacking the food.

“Is that burger from Rockin’ burgers?”

“Yes it is,” Jared replies proudly.

“Dude, it’s like twenty minutes from your work.”

“Well, what can I say? Nothing is too good for my baby.”

Jensen smiles before giving Jared a long, deep, kiss. He took his bottom lip into his mouth, biting it gently, and Jared had to hold back a moan.

“Think I should thank you properly,” he says in a seductive voice, his hand slowly getting lower on Jared’s leg.

“I think that’s a great idea.”

Jared lets his head fall down, and Jensen didn’t waste any more time before opening his zipper, pulling pants and underwear low enough so he could get to work. He sits between Jared’s legs and starts to lick his already hard cock.

“Jen, babe, stop teasing,” Jared was holding himself from not just shoving his dick in his throat.

“But I love doing it,” Jensen says after tracing his tongue on Jared’s entire cock.

Jared couldn’t hold back a moan, “Thought it was about thanking me.”

Jensen smiles and quickly puts a kiss on Jared’s lips. He then put a kiss on the head of his cock, before taking it in his mouth. He was so pretty, with his perfect lips around Jared’s cock, eyes closing, each one of his moans sending waves of vibration through Jared’s body.

“Want to fuck your mouth,” he hisses, hands on Jensen’s hair.

Jensen nods and puts himself correctly so Jared could do as he wants, never letting his dick out of his mouth.

Jared starts to thrust inside his mouth, going so deep that he hits the back of his throat.

“Doing so good, honey.”

Jensen moans at the nickname and Jared could see him trying to touch himself through his pants, and it sends a wave of want inside of him. He pulled his dick outside of his mouth, ignoring the questioning look on Jensen’s face, and pulled him up into his lap.

“Want you,” he whispers in his ear, one of his hands already working on Jensen’s pants.

“I’ve got lube in my desk.”

Jared stopped kissing Jensen’s neck, provoking grunts from his husband.

“Why do you have lube in your desk?”

Jensen seems to realize what he had said because now his face was redder than ever. He hides his face in Jared’s neck, dropping plenty of kisses at the same time.

“Wanted to prepare myself for you. Make you a surprise for when I got home.”

“Fuck.” Jared could feel an electric discharge in his entire body, just thinking about Jensen opening himself for him was enough to send him over the edge.

However, the pleasure was short-lived. Someone was knocking on the door, asking for Jensen.

“Maybe if I don’t answer she will go away,” Jensen whispers.

“Don’t think that’s gonna work honey.”

Jensen sighs before getting off of his husband’s lap. Jared puts his pants back on correctly and starts to eat. They had skipped lunch today, too busy on the case, and now that he was calmer - thanks to Jensen, he realized how hungry he was. Jensen stays outside the room for a moment, but Jared could hear him talk. It always amazed him how Jensen could be so sweet and lovely with him, but hard and cold with the others. Well, not with everyone, that’s true. He was nice with Jared’s parents and sibling, considering them as his family, which was reciprocal, and he was kinda nice with his little sister too, sometimes. But it was nothing to how he was with Jared. Jensen told him it was because Jared had accepted him as he was when he came back, and because he loves him, pure and simple. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. What if Jensen finds out about what’s really happening? Jared is lying to him, sure it’s for his own safety, but will Jensen understand that?

“Sorry, she wouldn’t go away,” Jensen sighs, sitting next to Jared, his feet resting on his lap.

Jared puts Jensen’s shoes off, before massaging his feet. His husband closed his eyes, savouring the moment. No. Jared couldn’t tell him anything, especially if he wasn’t sure he could find the man. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3,  
> Tell me what you think of this chapter, and the story generally, I really want to know !!  
> Thanks for reading ;)


	4. Friends and Lovers

_1998_

_Jensen’s mom had organized an immense party for his birthday. She had invited all his classmates, plus some others, not caring that it means at least 40 children, or that none of them were friends with Jensen. She didn’t, however, invite Jared, something about him monopolizing the attention. Well, Jensen’s attention. Jensen didn’t say anything, never did say anything for the past few years actually, but he had shown his mom that he was against the idea. She didn’t care, though._

_The party was a complete disaster. No one came. Either they didn’t like Jensen, or they found him weird, and sometimes, it was the parents that were afraid of Jensen. Because what can an abused kid do to other children? Nothing, if they had asked Jensen. Everything, according to them. In the end, his mom’s had cried, his father had left, and Jensen had locked himself in his closet._

_When Jared invites him for his birthday, he couldn’t be more excited. Not because of the party or even the cake, but because Jared said that they could all sleep over. At first, his mom had said no, but then Jensen had stopped eating because he was upset – and yeah okay, maybe he did it on purpose, but it wasn’t exactly a lie - so in the end, she said yes._

_He was quickly disenchanted when he was there, though. Turns out, Jared had plenty of new friends, all of them requiring his attention, which he gave to them without any problem. Then there was Chad, who introduced himself as Jared’s best friend. Jared didn’t correct him. Jensen wanted to go home and hide._

_Jared tried to make him participate in the games, but the other children didn’t want to play with him, and he didn’t want to play with them._

_“Guys, what are you so mean to Jensen for?” Jared asks them when he was sure Jensen couldn’t hear them._

_“Because he’s weird,” Chad told him, like it was the most evident thing, “I don’t know why you invited him. He’s scary.”_

_“No, he’s not!” Jared yells._

_When he turns around, he could see Jensen running into his room. He quickly left the other children, not really caring about them. He finds Jensen in his closet, like he usually does, and he sits next to him._

_“Hey Jen. What are you doing here?”_

_Jensen didn’t answer._

_“Words are stuck in your throat?”_

_He nods._

_“That’s ok. I don’t need words to be able to understand you.”_

_Jensen smiles. That was true._

_“I’m sorry the others are so mean. I didn’t know they would be like that.”_

_He moved his head to the side a little._

_“I wouldn’t have invited them if I knew. You’re the only one that matters.”_

_Jensen was playing with his hands and biting his lips. Jared frowns, not understanding what was bothering him._

_“Chad,” Jensen whispers, barely audibly, “He’s your best friend.”_

_Oh. That was the problem._

_“Yes, he is. I mean, kinda. But not as much as you. You and me, it’s different.”_

_“How?”_

_“Well, Chad, he’s my best friend, that’s true, but I can pass more than two weeks without seeing him, I could probably pass all my life without seeing him. I would miss him a little, maybe, but that’s it. But you… You, I can’t leave without seeing you everyday, I think about you all the time. You’re more than my best friend Jen, you’re like… You’re like a part of me, you know? Like, my dad had friends, even best friends, but even if he loves them, he loves my mom way more than them. Well, it’s the same for us.”_

_Jensen seemed happy with the answer, and Jared could even see him blushing. They stay playing in his room after that, and when it was time to go to sleep, Jensen and he sharede a bed, glued to each other._

 

 

“Jen, are you ready?” Jared yelled from the doorway.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

They were supposed to be at Chad’s house an hour ago, but they overslept, which was totally Jensen’s fault because he’s the one who insisted on watching another movie, even if it was already three in the morning. So now, they were late to the barbecue, where all his colleagues will be. Colleagues who don’t know that Jensen is Jared husband’s, or even that Jared is gay, for some of them. It’s not that he’s ashamed or anything, it’s just that he doesn’t like to talk about his personal life with them. Plus, he knows that once he mentioned Jensen, they would all want to meet him and ask him things, because, well, it’s Jensen. He had mentioned him once or twice, but most of the time he just said “Jen” which can be a girl name as much as a boy one. So yeah, maybe they shouldn’t have been late, because it will probably put all the attention on them, but it’s not like they could do anything about it now.

“How do I look?” Jensen asks, posing like a supermodel in front of him.

“You look amazing.” And it was true. He was wearing jeans, which was pretty rare, and his ass looked greater than ever. His t-shirt was tracing his big, muscular, arms, and maybe they could be a little more late..?

Jensen seems to be able to read his mind though, because he had a big smile on his face and suddenly glued himself to Jared’s body, his arms around his neck.

“I want you so much,” Jensen hisses against his mouth.

“Yeah, well, we should go now, so we’ll be home sooner.”

Jensen rolls his eyes before stepping away from Jared. He doesn’t want to go to this barbecue, doesn’t like how they all treat him like he was some kind of god. But Jared had asked him and well, who was he to say no? If it could make Jared happy, then he was all in. The poor guy seems so stressed lately, maybe it will help him relax a little.

Chad’s house was twenty minutes away from their home, and they passed the entire ride arguing about what presents they should give to Jared’s sibling and parents. In the end, Jared had made one of the most stupid jokes ever, and they had to stop because they couldn’t stop laughing. Which made them even later.

When they finally arrived, everyone was already there. Jensen knew that a lot of people would be coming, but it didn’t help calm his anxiety. Being in a room with people you’re supposed to do business with was one thing, but socializing with others in a friendly way? Not for him. He still had trouble knowing what to say, how to say it, or even just being interested in other people. But they weren’t just other people, they were Jared colleagues, his friends, his team, and like hell he was gonna let them think that he was some kind of freak.

They didn’t even reach the garden before someone was dragging Jared into a tight hug. Way too tight, in Jensen’s opinion, but he just smiled, waiting for the two friends to break apart from their embrace.

“God Jay, it feels like I haven’t see you in years!” The man exclaimed, squeezing Jared’s shoulder and completely ignoring Jensen, who was standing next to them, not sure of what to do.

“Yeah well, you know how work is.”

“I hear that you’re working on a new case already?”

Jensen saw Jared tense, only for a moment, not even noticeable if you didn’t know him very well. He knew that Jared was working on a new case, could tell by the way he stayed up late at night, how he would hold Jensen close to his chest when they slept, way closer than usual, and how he seemed to have lost his appetite. He decided that he shouldn’t say anything, because he’s sure that Jared will talk to him when he was ready. But maybe that wasn’t the best solution, maybe he should just ask him to tell him everything.

He didn’t had time to think more about it though because Jared’s arm was around his waist, dragging him against him, not even answering to his friend.

“This is Jensen, my husband.” Even after all this time, hearing Jared say those words sends a warm feeling inside of Jensen. He couldn’t help but smile, leaning closer.

He saw the surprise on the other man face, his mouth forming a little “oh” before stretching out his hand.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Steve, one of Jared co-workers.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Jensen replies, slapping himself mentally. “Sorry, I er, didn’t mean to sound rude.”

“No problem,” Steve offers him a comforting smile, but he was out of sight in a minute, pretending that he had something to do somewhere else, far, far away from them.

Jensen sighs before turning forward Jared so they were face to face.

“I’m sorry.” He made a grimace, trying to look as guilty as he could, even if he knew that Jared wasn’t mad.

“Don’t worry babe,” He dropped a kiss on his temple, making Jensen’s closing his eyes to savor the moment. “Just try not to scare them. Or you know, just not too much.”

“Well, I have to protect what is mine, doesn’t I?” He asked, putting a wick behind his ear.

Jared laughed a little and was ready to say something when Chad comes over to see them.

“Hey boys,” He says, a tiny smile on his face.

“Hey Chad. Been a long time,” Jensen replies, trying to sound as nice as he could. He doesn’t hate the guy -well, not anymore at least- but he doesn’t want to spend any more time with him than is necessary. Usually, one of them will say something that pisses off the other, and they will end up screaming, to Jared’s horror.

“Yeah,” Was Chad’s only answer, far away from his usual long and sarcastic sentences. The guy was pale, looking almost sick, and he was playing nervously with his cup. “Do you mind if I talk to Jared a moment?”

Jensen looked between the two of them, expecting Jared to say something, but his husband was wearing his poker face, looking intensely at his friend.

“Of course,” Jensen finally says, even if it was the last thing he wanted.

“It won’t be long,” Jared told him, dropping a quick kiss on his lips.

With that, they were both gone, passing through people without even acknowledging them. Jensen tried to follow their movements, but they were soon out of sight. What was really going on here? Why did Chad seem so anxious? What was so important that they needed to speak in private? Was it about the case? Or something else? Jensen’s mind went on fire, imagining the worst scenario. Maybe Jared was tired of him, finally, and Chad had welcomed him with opened arms.

Jensen was shook out of his thoughts when someone put a hand on his shoulder. He nearly jumps and was about to shriek when he saw a tiny blonde haired woman was looking at him with a big, bright smile.

“Hi, I’m Sophia.”

“Hey,” Jensen answers awkwardly.

“I hope I’m not bothering you. It’s just that I saw you here all alone, and well, it’s not every day that we can meet someone like you, you know.” She was giggling, moving from one foot to the other and Jensen just wanted to run away from her as fast as he could.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh, I need to call the others.”

“No, that’s not-”

Jensen couldn’t even finish his sentence, before Sophia was making signs for her friends to come over. They all came in a rush; apparently they’d been waiting for this for a long time. Jensen was embarrassed, hating all the attention that they were giving him. They all present themselves before starting to ask him questions, to which he only answers by “yes” or “no” wherever it was possible.

“So, what are you doing here?” One of them finally asked, and why had it taken so long for them to ask this question? Jensen couldn’t understand.

“I’m here with my husband,” He says, hoping that his call-so husband will come back soon enough.

“Oh, who’s your husband? I don’t think I know him.”

“Jared. Padalecki. I mean. Well, I don’t think there’s a lot of Jared’s in your department so it shouldn’t be hard.”

“Oh,” Sophia said, along with the other surprised faces, “I didn’t know that Jared was… Married.”

It was obvious that “married” wasn’t the word that she was looking for but Jensen decides to not say anything.

“Jared is a really good agent,” One of them say – Derek, maybe? Jensen couldn’t remember his name.  “I worked with him on his last case. Well, before his new one, of course.”

“Do you know what his new case is about?” Jensen asks, his curiosity taking over him.

Derek hesitated in an instant, biting his lower lip. “Apparently, a prisoner escaped from prison. Don’t know who he is, but he must be big.”

Derek and the others start talking about what case has been the roughest of their career, comparing the killers and their methods, but Jensen could no longer hear them. It couldn’t be him. He was in jail. In _really high security_ jail. He couldn’t get out of prison. But what if he did? What if, for some unknown reason, the universe decided that this particular man was allowed to get out of prison, to have a second chance? No. No, Jared would have told him the _minute_ he had known. It wasn’t him. It couldn’t be him.

“Where’s Jared?” Jensen asked, not caring that it was in the middle of their conversation.

His face must had shown how panicked he was because no one said anything for a while.

“I think he is in Chad’s room…” One of them says.

Jensen didn’t even wait for her to finish her sentence before he was quickly making his way to the room. He needed to see Jared, to be with him. Because what if it was really him, who got out? Then he’ll come for Jensen. He would come, take him far, far away from Jared, and no one would ever see him again.

He burst into the room without even knocking on the door, making both men jump. They were standing in front of each other, Jared looking really pissed. When he saw Jensen, all trace of anger disappears, replaced by worry.

“Jensen, are you ok?”

“It’s not him, right? The man who escaped. It’s not him?” Jensen’s voice was broken and he was on the verge of a panic attack, his whole body shaking.

“Who told you about that?”

“Derek,” Jensen hissed. Why Jared wasn’t denying it?

The anger was back instantly on his face, but he tried his best to hide it. He walked towards Jensen, ready to take him in his arms, but Jensen moved away.

“Jared, is it him? I want to know. I deserve to _know_.”

Jared stopped immediately, surprised by Jensen refusal. Jensen was dying for Jared’s hug, for his reassuring touch, but he didn’t want it before knowing if Jared had been lying to him.

“It’s not him,” Jared said, looking right into his eyes, “It’s someone else. I can’t talk about it. It was supposed to stay a secret but Chad told someone, and it just… A lot of people know now. But it’s not him. You’re safe.”

Jensen lets out a long and painful breath, his back pressing against the wall. He whispered a quick “thank god” before falling into Jared arms, holding him close and warm, all the stress and panic fading away.

“I’m protecting you, Jensen. Nothing bad will ever happen to you _again_.”

Maybe Jensen did hear the menace and anger in his husband’s voice, the speed at which his heart was thumping against his, but he didn’t say anything, only savored the warm feeling of being safe and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, tell me what you thought about it ! 
> 
> Also, someone asked me why I chose the sandman, and I thought it may be cool to answer here.   
> So there's this really old french serie call "Bonne nuit les petits", about the Sandman and I remember my grandmother showing it to me, and it used to make me so afraid, as much the fact that someone was breaking into the house to make you sleep, that the serie itself, because everything is scary about this thing, even the music.   
> For those who want to take a look : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcJmN1TVx0I  
> So if you have any question, feel free to ask !


	5. Broken Lover

_2003_

_“Jared, we already had this conversation,” Hannah told him, a reassuring smile on her face._

_“Yes, I know but…” Jared sighs, not able to handle his frustration any longer, “I just… I’m so angry. Because that wasn’t fair, Jensen didn’t deserve it, and I can see… I can see that he’s still trying to cope with it. With everything. Sometimes he’s just… Not there. And I feel like we did that to him. All of us. Because he didn’t have any medical support. He should have had, right?” He was aware that he was raising his voice but he couldn’t find himself to care._

_“Yes, Jared, I agree with you. But we’re not here to talk about Jensen, because he’s not my patient. You are.” Her voice was calm and peaceful, and it made Jared even more angry. Why couldn’t she see that he wasn’t the one that needed help?_

_“I’m ok.”_

_“According to your mom, you’re not.”_

_There was silence for quite a time, Hannah waiting for him to tell more, and him waiting for her to tell him that it was alright if he didn’t want to talk about it. Jared bites the inside of his mouth, debating against himself if he should tell her._

_“I… I started to have… An erection,” He said the last word in such a tiny voice that his psychologist almost didn’t hear him. Almost._

_“Well, it’s something totally normal for a boy of your age. Your body is changing, you’re starting to have desires-”_

_“But I don’t want too!” He yells, getting up from his chair. His heart was racing in his chest, his blood hitting the inside of his ears._

_“Why don’t you want too?”_

_“Because I don’t want to be like Him!” He tries to hold back his tears, sitting back on the chair. He hated himself, hated this awful body and everything that came with it._

_“Jared, you are not like him. This is a natural thing, everybody has desires, well, almost everybody. It’s not something you should be ashamed of.”_

_Jared was looking down at his feet, only half listening. “I… I thought about Jensen. When… When it happened,” he whispered, tears now running freely down his face._

_“Jensen is your boyfriend, that’s normal. Maybe you should talk to him about it, so you know how he feels about it.”_

_“Yeah, so he can be afraid of me and lose the only person who loves him.”_

_“I don’t-”_

_“I still see him, you know. The basement. Jensen, on the floor, with the blood…” He swallowed heavily, closing his eyes, “He was so pale. So weak. And I… I don’t want to see him like that ever again. Never. So, I don’t care if that means I never have sex, or if I cry every morning because this fucking boner can’t get off. I will not do a thing that could made Jensen scared, or hurt, ever again.”_

 

 

 

“Come on babe, it’s time to get up,” Jensen hisses in Jared’s ear, dropping a little kiss on his lobe and moving slowly down to his neck.

Jared frowns and covers his head with the duvet, making Jensen laugh, before he himself slid under the covers with him, his mouth automatically finding his husband’s.

“Maybe you could call in sick?”

“M’not sick.”

“They don’t need to know that,” Jensen replies, his hair stroking Jared’s hair slowly. He could feel him relaxing under his touch, his expression getting softer, but he still didn’t dare to open his eyes.

“Have to work. Who’s gonna pay the bills?”

Jensen slapped his arm, making Jared laugh before finally opening his eyes. Jared was smiling at him, a soft and lovely expression in his eyes as he put his arms around Jensen’s waist, pulling him closer to him.

“Hey,” Jensen said against his lips.

“Hi.”

“So, what about a day in bed?” He asks playfully, his hand already going in the direction of Jared’s underwear, only to be stopped by his husband’s hand.

“I really need to go to work,” he said before getting out of under the covers. When Jensen emerged from the bed behind him, Jared was putting his pants on, not even bothering to take a shower.

“Come on Jay, stay with me a little longer,” Jensen begged into his ear, his boner bumping against Jared’s back.

“Jen, I told you that I can’t. This case… This case is really important. I can’t waste time like that.”

“So, spending time with me is a waste of your time? Happy to know.”

Jensen got up, walking straight to the bathroom without a glance to Jared. It’s been half a week since the party with Jared’s co-workers, and ever since, Jared was always on edge, not having time to talk to Jensen, to cuddle with him or anything else, let alone sex. But now he was talking about wasting his time? Yes, Jensen understood that this case was important, but it didn’t mean that Jared had to be such a bitch with him about it.

Jared sighs before opening the bathroom door, leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed against his chest.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Jen.”

“How did you mean it then?” He replied, letting his toothbrush fall in the sink “Because as I see it, you _did_ mean it like that.”

“No, I didn’t… Look, I’m tired, I don’t know what I’m saying.” He walked towards Jensen, putting his big arms around his waist, ignoring his bitch face, “I’m sorry.”

“Of course, you’re tired. You’re not sleeping at night,” Jensen replies, arms still crossed, “You come to bed with me, and as soon as you think I’m asleep, you just…fade away. Hell, these last few days, you don’t even pretend to go to bed. You can’t continue like that, Jay.” He took a big breath, knowing full well that what he was about to say would not be pleasant for his husband, “Maybe you should ask someone else to take care of this case.”

Jared’s embrace instantly turned rigid, his eyes becoming colder than Jensen’s seen in a while.

“I can’t. It’s my case, they gave it to me for a reason.” He let go of Jensen, walking out of the room.

“Yeah, well maybe they shouldn’t have gave it to you, because obviously it’s fucking with your head. You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating, and you’re just not _you_. And I want you to be you. I don’t want you to be some broken version of yourself!”

“Yea, well for once I’m not the one having to deal with a broken lover.”

Jared closed his mouth instantly as he realized what he had said, but it was too late. He could see how Jensen’s face passed from angry to hurt in an instant, his beautiful eyes losing all their brightness.

“I see,” he said, voice broken, before moving toward the dressing room and shoving some clothes into a bag.

 “Jen, what are you doing?” 

“Since I’m such a burden for you, I’m not sleeping here anymore. Like that? You can stop wasting your time and work more on your fucking _case_.”

“Come on Jensen, don’t act like a kid,” he sighs, trying to get a hold on Jensen’s bag.

“I’m acting like the fuck I _want_ to act!” Jensen yelled, rushing down the stairs.

“Oh, so you can act like a diva but I can’t have _one_ day off? Awesome Jensen, that’s really awesome.”

“I’m acting like a diva? That’s what you think? Me trying to take care of you is acting like a diva? Well then fuck you, Jared.”

Jared gritted his teeth; anger coursing through him. Why does Jensen have to make everything so complicated? It was his job, of _course_ he had to work on it!

“You know what?” He said firmly, “I’m not dealing with your shit today. Come home or don’t come home, I don’t care at all. Maybe for once, I’ll be able take care of myself instead of taking care of your _ungrateful_ ass.”

Jensen didn’t even respond, only turned his back before charging out of the house, slamming the door after him, leaving Jared alone.

 

 

 

 

The drive to work was faster than Jensen had ever remembered it being. His hands were tight on the wheel, his foot pressing hard on the pedal. What was going on inside Jared’s head? He _never_ talks like that to Jensen. Of course, they had up and down moments, some of them fiercer than the others. But it never lasted more than an hour, and Jared had never said anything like that - that Jensen was a drag for him. Does he really think all of those things? Well, he couldn’t blame him, really. He was well aware that he wasn’t really pleasant to live with, always needing to be taking care of. He hates it. Hates being so weak, so broken, because even if it hurt when Jared had said it, he was right, Jensen was broken.

He had recovered, a lot, but sometimes, it just all came back, even stronger. But it wasn’t fair. Jared’s words weren’t fair. It had been a long time since he had had any crisis like this. So maybe he was a little too needy for attention, but he always thought that it was the same for his husband, that he actually loved giving him the attention he needed. Apparently, he was wrong.

The worst was probably that even now, as he was angry at Jared, all he wanted to do was be with him. Jared didn’t deserve it. All of this. He deserved to be happy, with a normal and healthy husband.

He parked his car in the parking lot, resting his head on the wheel wearily, as he let out a long cry. It was too much, everything was too much. He wanted it to stop, he wanted to be with Jared, somewhere where nothing else would matter, where he was safe.

He stays in his car for a long time before finally getting out. He needs to get back to himself again, if not for him, for Jared. He could pretend to be ok. He had done it for a long time, still does it when he’s with other people. If that’s all it takes to made Jared happy and less stressed, than he could do it.

He stopped walking when he heard footsteps. He turns around, but no one was there.

“Hello?” He asked with a strong voice, not wanting to anyone to think he was afraid. “Is someone there?”

Nobody answered, so he started to walk again, a little faster. Over the last few weeks, he had this feeling that someone was here near him, watching him, more than once. He understands why Jared was so tired of him. Who want to be with such a paranoid man?

He tried to open the door which lead to the stairs, but it wouldn’t open.

“Come on,” he whispers, forcing the door with more urgency.

He stopped immediately when he heard the step again. He was sure that he wasn’t imagining it then, he could hear them getting closer and closer.

“Who’s _here?_ ” He yelled, the stress racing through him.

“Hi Mr. Ackles,” His secretary answers when she got closer to him. Her smile dropped as soon as she saw him. “Is everything alright sir?”

Jensen took a big breath, rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah, I just… The door won’t open.”

“Oh, the security asked us to close it with the key,” she answers, putting the key in the lock.

“And why I wasn’t informed of it?” Anger could be heard in his voice, but really, in which society was the boss not even aware of things like that?

Katie seemed a little embarrassed, “You’re the one who asked for it, sir.”

Jensen sighs. Yes, he remembers it now. He’s been in a fucking paranoid mood all week and asked the security to take some measures for the safety of his employees. And he also gets to _forget_ it. It was gonna be a long day.

 

 

 

 

 

Jensen had been gone for two hours, and Jared wish he could say that it made him feel good to be alone, to have left all the tension behind when he left, but it didn’t. He called work to take his morning off – maybe he should have called before, and all of that wouldn’t have happened - and he took a long shower, trying to forget this awful morning, but it didn’t help him at all. Nothing of what he said to Jensen was true. More than that, Jensen was right. He had been tensed up for days, all the leads he had for finding the man coming to nothing. Adding that to that the fact that he had lied to Jensen about it, telling him that his worst nightmare wasn’t becoming real. Maybe he shouldn’t have, maybe he should had told him the truth. He was being eating alive by the guilt, knowing too well that the time would come where he would have to tell Jensen. What was he thinking? You can’t hide something like that forever.

He finally decides to go to work; staying at home not doing him any good. When he enters the building, Chad gave him a tiny smile, but didn’t dare to come talk to him. Things were still rough between them since Chad had decided to open his big mouth and tell everyone about the case. So much for a good agent.

“Hello Jaybird,” Sophia sang, giving Jared a cup of coffee, “How was your morning?” Her eyes were jumping from excitement. Since she learnt that he was with another man - Jensen, on top of that - she couldn’t stop asking him questions, not caring if it was too intimate or not, and acting like they’d been best friend for years, even though she’d never _actually_ talked to him before. Truth is, her good mood was generally something Jared appreciated. But not today.

“Good, thanks. I’m sorry, I can’t really talk with you, I need to get working.” He didn’t even wait for an answer, going to his office as fast as he could, ignoring his co-workers on the way.

He lets a big breath out when he finally closed the door. Maybe he should have stayed home. He locks the door, making sure that no one can come in, and sits at his office. He scatters all the papers of the case, trying to find something, anything that could put him on a track. There’s picture of the Sandman’s little brother, his first victim, some pictures of his house back in France, surrounded by deep woods, where he used to hide his victims, testimonials of his teachers, neighbors, co-workers, who all described him as lonely but gentle, tender. It made Jared sick. On the top of the pile, there was Jensen. His only victim still alive. Jared had read the police report over and over, went through the medical records, but he still couldn’t bear to look at those pictures, can’t see the pain, the fear, on Jensen’s face, the bruises on his small body, the blood on his face, on his arms, between his legs, and in his hair.

He hates those pictures. If he could, he would destroy them so that no one can ever see them again. There’s also his own testimony, where he says what he saw, what the man did, where he saw him touching Jensen. He remembers how everyone kept telling him what a great job he did, how he saved Jensen’s life. But he couldn’t believe them, not when he was looking at Jensen, so small, so weak, in his hospital bed. He didn’t save Jensen. Jensen didn’t look like he had been saved at all.

But that was a long time ago; Jensen was fine now. More than fine actually. And Jared intends to keep it that way.

He took his phone and typed a text, or at least tried, the words weren’t coming out easily. What are you supposed to say after being so mean?

_I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it, I hope you know that._

It’s lame. If he was Jensen, he wouldn’t forgive himself.

_I think you did mean that. That’s ok. I get it. I’m sorry too._

_No, I didn’t. Will prove that I didn’t if you let me. Come home tonight?_

He waited for Jensen’s answer nervously. It’s stupid, because he knows Jensen will come home. They never slept without each other, even when they had big fights, that’s a rule. But again, Jared’s never been _mean_ to Jensen.

_Ok_

He lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

_I love you Jensen._

He had to wait again for an answer, longer than before.

_I love you too._

He can’t help but smile. He doubts that they are perfect now, probably not even good, but they’re ok. He’s going to make things better. And as long as Jensen is under his protection, everything will be alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lot of angst in this chapter... The next one will be waay better ;)  
> Tell me what you think about this chapter !!  
> Also, do you love the memories at the beginning of each chapters ? And if you do, is there some particular memories that you would want to see ?


	6. Chocolate Fondant

 

 “ _Dude, you’ve got to…” Jensen hissed, trying to position himself correctly._

_“Yeah, I know it’s just…” Jared lets out a sigh before settling back in a sitting position, “Why are we having sex in a car again?”_

_“Because we can’t do it at your home and we certainly can’t do it at my house. So, unless you have a better idea, can we please try again?”_

_“Jensen, I…” Jared bites his bottom lip, knowing too well that he’s about to start a fight, “I don’t want our first time to be like this. In a car where I can’t even see you properly and fuck, it’s fucking uncomfortable in here Jen. I can’t even move.”_

_The arguing that he was expecting never came, instead, Jensen just stares at his hands, his jaw locked so tight that Jared was afraid he might be hurting himself._

_“’ts not gonna be my first time,” he whispers, barely audible, his eyes not meeting Jared’s._

_Jared felt guilt build up inside him. He hadn’t thought about that. Sure, they talked a lot about the fact that Jensen might not be ready, that they could stop at any moment, but he didn’t think that Jensen may not see this as his first time._

_He moved a little, as much as the car would allow him, and pulled Jensen into a tight hug._

_“Jensen, it’s… It’s your first time, as much as mine. That wasn’t sex, with him. It wasn’t. What we’re gonna do, it’s far, far away from what happened. We’re not gonna have our first time in a car. You’re not gonna lose your virginity in a car, and neither am I.”_

_Jensen sniffed a little, before nodding. They moved again so Jensen could lie in Jared’s arms, head resting on his chest._

_“I don’t… I don’t think I’m ready Jay.”_

_“That’s ok. We’re not in a rush.”_

_“What if,” Jensen swallows hard, tightening his grip on Jared’s, “What if I’m never ready to have sex?”_

_Jared kissed the bottom of his head, gently caressing Jensen’s back, in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture._

_“It doesn’t matter. I’m not with you because I want to have sex with you, I’m with you because I love you. Maybe we will never have sex, and that’s ok. But Jen I… I will try and remove every bad memory. I promise. With or without sex.”_

_Jensen lets out a little sound before hiding his head in Jared’s neck, one of his hands resting in his hair._

_“I don’t think I’m ready either,” Jared whispered, his voice rough._

_“We’re gonna die virgins,” Jensen laughed, brushing off the tears that were running on his cheeks. Soon, Jared starts laughing too, and they fall into a debate residing on how their dicks will look like when they’re in their thirties._

_Looking at Jensen laughing, really laughing, while blabbing about stupid things, was way better than any sort of sex for Jared anyway_. 

 

 

 

Jared was home at five, pretexting a headache, and started to cook immediately. It was lame, thinking that everything would be better with a good meal, but it was the only thing he could put his mind to. 

He was going to make the best meal ever for Jensen, and maybe it will help his case. It was risky, because Jensen still had the tendency to stop eating when something was upsetting him. It wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t voluntary. Jared knows that. But he still hopes that Jensen will be able to eat tonight. 

At six, he putted the meal inside the oven and started to make the dessert. He decided to go for a chocolate fondant, knowing that it was Jensen favorite. When they were on their honeymoon, Jensen was practically feeding himself only with that, not caring that it wasn’t heathy at all. It ended up with Jared being coated with it, and Jensen licking every trace. 

Jared couldn’t help but smile at the memories, secretly hoping that tonight will end the same way. 

He was pulled out of the thought when he heard the front door being opening. Jensen walked into the kitchen, with a tiny and fake smile on his face. It was the same smile that he gave to his mother when he greeted her. Never has he gave it to Jared before. He tried not to show how hurt he was to receive it, and instead, he gave him a bright, lovely one. 

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Jensen replied, with less enthusiasm. 

“I hope you’re hungry, because I made a ton of food,” Jared couldn’t help but let out an awkward laugh. 

“I’m… Yeah, of course.” 

“Good.”

They faced each other without saying anything for a long, long time. Well, maybe not that long, but it was too long for Jared anyway.

“Jensen, I… What I said this morning, it was… It was mean. Nothing more than mean. And not true. You have every right to feel the way you feel. You were never something that I felt forced to drag along. I just… I’m just tired, Jen. Not tired of you, never tired of you. But the case… It… I’m trying to do the right thing, but I’m not sure I’m doing it right.” 

Jared let out a sigh of relief to finally get it all of his chest; letting his guilt come out. Not all of it, indeed, because he still felt guilty like hell for not telling Jensen the truth. He’s trying to protect him, but he’s too aware that there will be a moment where he would have to tell him everything. 

“I’m broken. I am. I can’t deny it. And it’s unfair for you, because you deserve someone who is… Normal. Who reacts like a normal person. Even with all the help in the world, I will never be a normal person. That’s just not me. There’s times where I’m ok, more than ok, and then everything comes crashing down. My mom can’t support me. Last time I saw my dad, I was seven. I get it. People run away from me, but I get it. I would run away from me too if I could,” Jensen took a big breath before crossing his arms against his chest, like he was trying to protect himself, “I love you, Jared. If I’m being honest, you’re the only person I truly love. And because I love you, I want you to be happy. Even if it means that I have to be unhappy.”

Jared didn’t say anything at first, trying to catch everything that he said. Is that really how Jensen saw himself? Like a ‘thing’ you need to get away from? 

“Jen, are you… Are you breaking up with me? Because if that’s so, then let me tell you that you’re a fucking moron,” Jared finally moved, closer to Jensen, not quite touching him, but close enough so he could embrace him as soon as he wanted, “I don’t want to run away from you. Never had, never will. You may be broken, Jensen, but I am too. Like a lot of people. Maybe not as much as you, but still. You’re getting better, every day. I can’t even tell you how proud of you I am. I don’t care about how others see you, I love you just the way you are. Broken or not.” 

Jensen’s was nodding frantically, trying to hold himself together as much as he could, before he finally burst into tears, falling forwards into Jared’s arms. 

“It’s okay baby, I’ve got you,” Jared whispers, his arms tightening around Jensen’s waist. 

“Please don’t leave me.” 

Jensen’s voice was so broken, Jared could feel his own heart being torn apart. He tightens his hold around Jensen even more, before kissing him on the lips. He wanted to give him a sweet and reassuring kiss, but it turned out completely different. The kiss was rough, almost brutal, their teeth grazing against each other. It’s been too long since Jared allowed himself to be that close to Jensen. 

“I’m not gonna leave you. Never,” he hissed between kisses. He slides his arms below Jensen’s ass, forcing him to put his legs around his waist. He could feel his husband’s hard on against his stomach, and he decides to save time and walk towards the couch.

He leaned down and laid them both on it, trying to take each other’s clothes off without losing any more contact than necessary. Soon, they were both naked, Jared on top of Jensen, rubbing against each other. He started to lick Jensen’s jaw, then his lobe, knowing exactly how to put pressure on it. Not to hurt, but enough to make Jensen hiss. 

“God Jay,” Jensen moaned, his legs pushing Jared’s closer to him. 

Jared smiled and moved down so he could start to kiss Jensen’s throat, feeling his pulse against his tongue as Jensen’s breathing started to increase. He spent a good time on each of Jensen’s nipples, getting them all red and hard, making Jensen squeeze and beg for more. Then he stopped and continue his descent until he was on Jensen’s belly, biting the skin a little stronger than before. Jensen lets out a long moan, and he tries to get his hand on his dick, only to be snapped away by Jared. 

“No touching, babe. I’m doing all the work tonight.” 

Jensen’s dick was already swollen and red, pre-cum starting to run out of it. Jared started by giving a little lick to the head of Jensen’s dick before taking the whole thing in his mouth, ignoring his gag reflex without any problem. 

“Fuck.” Jensen put his hand on Jared’s head and his soft hair, forcing him to take even more of him inside of his throat. Jared’s nose was on his pubic hairs, and it was starting to get hard to breathe, but God how much he loved that. 

Jensen releases him rapidly, knowing how much his husband was capable of taking and for how long. 

Jared let go of Jensen’s dick, and put both of his legs onto his shoulders, under the questioning look of Jensen. 

“Trust me babe.” 

“Always,” Jensen answers, with as much as sincerity that he could. 

Jared smiled before putting his head between Jensen’s cheeks, wasting no time before starting to lick his pink asshole. He then pushed his tongue inside of him, guiding his fingers to Jensen’s mouth so he could suck them, which he did with joy. 

Once they were wet enough, he pushed one of his fingers along his tongue, making Jensen tremble with want. 

“Jay, come on, I’m ready,” Jensen begged.

Jared pulled his fingers out of Jensen, not before giving his ass a little spank and admiring his work. Jensen’s hole was wet with his spit, contracting around nothing now that Jared wasn’t applying any pressure in it. He took the bottle of lube he had put under the couch earlier. 

“You planned all of this,” Jensen said with a smile on his face, “Am I that easy?” 

“Kinda,” Jared replies with a genius smile. 

He lay more on Jensen so he could kiss him, with his legs still around his neck. Jensen’s hand moved to find Jared’s dick, trying desperately to put it inside of him, but Jared pushed him away.

“You’re so needy,” Jared laughs, kissing his husband’s neck. 

“If you weren’t this much of a tease.” 

Jared smiled, guiding the head of his dick inside Jensen, just enough for him to feel it, but not enough to do anything else. 

“Come on, come on,” Jensen was going crazy, trying to get Jared inside of him. 

Jared waits a moment, enjoying having his husband around him like that, all sweaty and needy. Without any warning, he pushes all the way inside, making Jensen throw back his head, as his legs tighten around Jared’s neck. 

He waits a little, letting Jensen get used to the feeling, before starting to move. He gave long and deep thrusts, making sure that every one of them was hitting on Jensen’s prostate. 

“Yes, fuck Jay, yes!” Jensen yelled, his hands holding on Jared’s hair, “Harder. Come on babe, harder.” 

“As you wish.” 

Jared pulled practically all the way out, before slamming inside in one big thrust and speeding up the pace. He moved them so Jensen was now on his lap, lifting him and dropping him as fast as he could. Jensen was so tight, so hot, and it’s been so long, he wasn’t sure if he could hold on much longer. He tried his best to send as much as pleasure as he could to Jensen, which, according by the yells and the way Jensen’s hole was clenching around him, was achieved. 

“Jay, I’m gonna come.” Jensen hid his face in Jared’s neck, his teeth almost breaking the skin, sending a wave of pleasure inside of Jared, his come jerking on them both. 

Jared completely lost his rhythm, going faster and deeper, before coming violently inside of Jensen. 

“God, Jen.” 

They both stay like that for a moment, to regain their breathing under control. Jared takes Jensen’s face between his hands, looking directly into his eyes. 

“I love you, Jensen. Please, never forget that.” 

“I won’t,” Jensen whispered, putting his forehead against Jared’s, “I love you too.” 

They didn’t move for a long time, enjoying being this close to each other after such a long and difficult day. Jared could feel Jensen starting to fall asleep, and he smiled at himself, happy to see his husband so relaxed. 

“Come on baby, I’ve made food.” 

“Hum,” Jensen replies, his head against his shoulder, “Tired.”

“I know. But I’ve made everything you love,” he kisses Jensen’s nose, “…Even a fondant.” 

“You did?” Jensen had a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining with happiness.

“Of course I did.” 

“You know how I want to eat it?” Jensen asked playfully, biting his bottom lips. 

“No, I don’t.” 

Jensen bites his right lobe, before whispering directly into his ear, “All over you.” 

Jared shivers from excitation, feeling his cock already getting hard again. It was gonna be a good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the sexy time !  
> It's not really my favorite thing to write, but I hope you like it anyway !  
> Sorry for the waiting, next chapter will be here next week without exceptions  
> Thanks to arielgryffinpuff who beta all this work !


	7. Home sweet home

_Jared and Jensen visited four houses before finding The One. Nothing was ever good enough for Jensen. One of the houses was too little, the other too big, or the other wasn’t light enough. But Jared knew better than to say anything, aware that the problem wasn’t the size of the house or the light. It was the security, the projection that Jensen was planning on doing._

_And then they found it. The perfect house. The walls were falling apart, the floor was full of suspicious substances that no one could identify, and the garden looked more like a jungle than anything else._

_They broke all the walls, making one big room where there used to be the living room in the kitchen, they teared off the carpet, destroyed the shower, weeded the grass, painted the walls, put reinforced doors everywhere, as much as CCTV cameras, and finally, they put pictures of them on every surface that they could._

_There’s a trace of yellow painting on the walls next to the kitchen, because Jensen wouldn’t stop throwing some in Jared’s hair, who ended up shaking his head, dropping paint everywhere. The door to their room was slightly encrusted, due to a too-much-drink night, in which Jared pushed Jensen a little too strongly against it. In front of the sofa, you could see the rose flowers that Jared’s sister painted, because she thought that something was missing. She was right._

_Their house was perfect, full of memories and little traces of them that proved that they were here, that they were alive, and Jensen couldn’t feel safe anywhere else but in this home._

_“I really love it,” he told Jared, naked against each other on the sofa, hiding under the covers._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah.” He kissed Jared, not deep or roughly, but a sweet and innocent kiss, “Thank you, Jay.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jared wakes up first, twenty minutes before his alarm goes off. Jensen was still asleep, curled inside of his arms. There was still evidence of last night activities, ranging from sweat to chocolate, and Jared smiles at the memory. He untangles himself from Jensen delicately, and kisses his husband’s neck, before moving to his legs, applying pressure to them. Jensen moves a little, motivating Jared to keep going. He moves to his right foot and starts massaging it. 

Jensen let out a little moan, still sleeping, and Jared decides to push the game a little further. He puts Jensen’s feet closer to his mouth and started to drop kisses on them, scrubbing his nose against it, making Jensen’s toes curl with excitement. 

“Hello,” Jared whispered, biting on one of Jensen toes. 

“Hi baby,” Jensen closed his eyes again, “That feels nice.” 

Jared smiled, starting to massage Jensen’s legs again, ignoring how hard his own dick was. Jensen moved his feet’s so they were resting against Jared stomach, applying a nice pressure on it. 

“I love mornings like this,” Jensen moans when Jared lays on top him, grinding their groins against each other. 

“Not the only one.” 

They both started to move their hips, rubbing their cocks together. Jensen locked his legs around Jared’s waist, putting him closer to him. The friction of them rubbing nakedly together was too intense, and soon they were both groaning, and coming, Jared collapsing on Jensen. 

“Hey,” Jensen said, caressing Jared’s hair.

“Hey yourself,” Jared planted a kiss on Jensen mouth. 

“We’re really gross.”

“Yes, yes we are.” 

Jensen laughs before pushing Jared off of him and getting up. Jared lay down on the bed, admiring the view that was in front of him. Jensen’s ass was perfect, all round and bouncy, covered by bites left by Jared not so long ago. 

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he finally says, walking forward the bathroom. 

“Is that an invitation?” 

“Maybe.” 

They shared a smile before Jensen disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Jared lets out a long sigh, enjoying a little longer the warm feeling of their bed and the scent of Jensen. He was able to forget about everything that wasn’t Jensen, even the sick feeling of knowing that Jensen’s nightmare was out. It’s been several weeks now, if the sandman really wanted to touch Jensen, he would already have done it. Maybe he was dead, in the prison. It happened before, prisoners who were supposed to have escape but were in reality buried in the prison’s garden. 

The problem was, maybe he wasn’t dead. Maybe he really was out there, free, walking in the streets just like everyone else. Maybe he wouldn’t touch Jensen, but would take another innocent child, who may not be as lucky as Jensen was. 

He sighs before getting up. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. Morgan and Chad were on it too, he wasn’t the only one working on this case. 

Jared entered the bathroom, going straight inside the warm shower. Jensen had his eyes closed, humming a song that Jared couldn’t recognize, the water running down his soft skin. Jared put his hands around his waist, dragging him towards his chest. 

“I’m really enjoying this morning,” Jensen whispered, letting out a sigh when Jared placed his big hands around his dick, stroking him lazily. 

“Me too.” He dropped multiple kisses on Jensen’s neck, who dropped his head on his shoulder.

Jared started to jerk him off a little stronger, his other hand playing with Jensen’s nipple, making them all hard and red. 

“Wait,” Jensen said, pushing Jared away a little before turning over. He smiled to Jared before kissing him, his hands on his ass. “It’s my turn.” 

He dropped on his knees, and started to lick Jared’s dick, before taking it in his hot and wet mouth, instantly hitting the back of his throat. He chokes on it a little, tears filling his eyes, but doesn’t stop. 

“God, Jen,” Jared put his hands on Jensen’s wet hair, stroking him gently, “Doing so good babe.” 

Jensen lets out a moan, sending vibrations all over Jared’s dick. He started to move a little faster, his other hand playing with Jared’s balls. Jared moans loudly before coming inside of his mouth without any warning, the pleasure too intense to say anything. 

Jensen swallowed every drop of come before getting up, a satisfied smile on his lips. 

“Did I ever tell you that you are an amazing husband?” 

“Not enough, actually,” Jensen replied, kissing him deeply. 

They finished their shower quickly, not without stopping to kiss and caress each other during the process. Jensen was the first one to get out, offering to start doing some coffee. 

Jared enjoyed the shower a little longer before going out too. When he walked out of the bathroom, he saw Jensen sitting on the bed, all dressed up. 

“Thought you were gonna make breakfast?” Jared asked while slipping into his pants. 

“Were you gonna tell me?” Jensen asked, eyes fixed on the floor. 

“Tell you what?” 

“That he was free.” 

Jared felt his heart miss a beat. It felt like everything was in slow motion, Jensen’s green eyes looking at him with so much sadness, anger and pain, sending him back to the time when they were kids, and Jensen’s mom forbade them to see each other. 

“I… I’m so sorry Jen.” He walked to him, but when he tried to reach out for him, Jensen walked away. 

“No. You don’t get to touch me. You don’t get to tell me that you’re sorry. Not when you lied to me, right to my face,” Jensen’s voice cracked, his eyes full of emotion. 

“I didn’t know what to do, Jensen. You think I wanted this? I thought…. God, Jensen, you have no idea how hard this is for me.” 

“How hard it is for you?” Jensen lets out a laugh, “Try finding out that the monster that stole your fucking life is out of jail, and that your husband didn’t tell you anything.” 

“I was protecting you,” Jared whispered, not sure of what to say. Jensen was right, he should have told him, right from the beginning, but he did what he thought was right. 

“Jared, I…” Tears started rolling on Jensen’s cheeks, but he quickly wipes them away, “I trusted you.” 

“Please, you’ve got to understand!” He tried to touch him again, but Jensen put his hands in a defensive position, making Jared stopped deadly still. 

“No. I… I don’t want to understand. I’m just… I’ll go away. I can’t stay here.” He didn’t take anything, no clothes, or any other things that he might need, and started to go down the stairs, followed by Jared. 

“Jen, you can’t walk away. I need to protect you!” He yelled, fighting against the tears that were treating to fall. 

“Protect me? No. You’re not protecting me, Jared. You… You lied. I don’t think I feel safe with you anymore.” The words were hitting Jared’s skin like ice, making his heart ache painfully, “I will… I’ll go to your mom’s place. Don’t come, please. Morgan can reach me if he needs to.” 

“Jensen, I….” He tries to think about what to say, how to say it, but he couldn’t find the right words. He was right, so damn right. He lied to him, how could he trust him now? “Be careful. Please.” 

Jensen nodded, before opening the door, ready to go. 

“I love you,” Jared said desperately. Because maybe it was the last time that he would be able to tell him that, maybe it will be one of the last times that they would be here, in their house, together, as a couple. And Jensen could put his trust in question, could doubt what his real reasons were, but he could never doubt that Jared loved him. 

“That’s why it hurts to bad,” Jensen replied, before closing the door. 


	8. Mon Petit

_“This is what you want?” Jensen’s mom asked Sharon._

_“I think it’s more about what Jensen wants,” she tried to reply in the gentlest way possible._

_“Yeah, well, if you can handle him, go head,” Donna took the last bag of clothes out of her car, putting it on the ground._

_Sharon knows that she shouldn’t be judging the poor woman. Her son had gone missing, he had come back broken, as much as their bound. She had tried. She really did. But not like she should have done. She thought that by ignoring what happened, Jensen would get better. Sadly, it just made things worse, and the last ten years had been the most horrific and hard that she’s faced, Sharon knows that. But she can’t help but be angry about the woman that she had in front of her._

_“Donna, I’m not stealing your son,” she finally said, like it could make everything better, “I just… I think it’s best for him, he’ll come back when he’s ready.”_

_“You’re not the one stealing my son,” Donna voice was hard, looking directly at Jared, who was putting Jensen’s bags in the house, trying his best to ignore the conversation going on, “We both know Jensen will never be ready. He will come home one week each month, and that’s it.”_

_She gets into her car, without even saying goodbye to her son, or any one for that matter._

_Sharon sights before going into the house, where Jensen was sat on the sofa, eyes on the floor. He still looked like a baby to her, even after all this years. His eyes are the same green that they were when he was little, his skin as pale as before. The way he looked at people had changed, the light in his eyes was different, the way he acted was different. But she couldn’t see what other people were seeing. She couldn’t see a freak, or some kind of sociopath. She only saw a little boy, who desperately wanted someone to see him, to love him._

_“You ok honey?” She asked him, putting her arms around his shoulders._

_“Yes. I… Thank you,” he whispered, still not meeting her eyes._

_“It’s alright Jensen. I’m happy to have you here.”_

_She gave him her best loving smile, the one that she only gave to her children, before gathering him in her arms. Jensen didn’t freeze. Not with her. In fact, he leaned into the embrace, savoring the warm feeling of her arms around him._

_“You are family honey, always have been and always will be.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jensen didn’t freak out. Not when he got in his car, not when he drove to Jared’s mom’s house, and not even when he told her why he was there, and why he was staying.

He waited until he was in his and Jared’s old room, still filled with pictures of them on the walls, Jared’s trophies and Jensen’s books; before he collapsed on the bed. His whole body was shaking, it was hard to breathe, and he tried to reassure himself, but everything was just so wrong. The room was too small, there was too many sounds, and it was so hot that his clothes were wet with sweat.

In these kind of situations, Jared was the one who pulled him together. He would hold Jensen tight, murmuring reassuring words, telling him that it was fine, he was fine, and everything would be alright. But Jared wasn’t here, and nothing was fine.

Jensen’s worse nightmare was coming true and Jared chose that _exact_ moment to betray him. He was so angry at him, for lying, for keeping secrets, for making false promises! But most of all, he was angry because Jared had put them both in danger. Sure, Jensen was the only alive victim, but Jared? Jared was the guy who took him away from the man. He would take Jensen, that’s for sure, but not without killing Jared first. Maybe he was already watching them, tracking them, without them knowing.

What would have happened if Jensen never catch Chad's text? Does Jared would have lie to him forever?

Jensen felt dirty just thinking about the possibility that he may have walked pass the man without noticing him, and that all this time, he was being observed.

He was forced to come out of his thoughts when Sharon opened the door, walking straight to the bed before sitting on the very edge.

“Hi honey,” she gave him a comforting smile, and Jensen felt like he was four again, crying because he scratched his knee, “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he replied, even if he could tell she wasn’t buying it.

She didn’t say anything, only got up so she could drop a kiss on his forehead before walking to the door again.

“He wanted to protect you. I… I’m not defending him, but don’t think he ever wanted to hurt you.” With that, she was out.

Jensen knew that she was right, that Jared only did that because it was for the best, for everyone. But right now, he was too pissed to care. Truth is, if he wasn’t angry at Jared, then he would be scared to death, and the first one was definitely easier to deal with.

He took his laptop out of his bag and decided to start working. Work was good. It would allow him to think about something else, and he could put all his energy in it. No more Jared, no more nightmares, no more Sandman. Just work. He could do it.

 

 

 

Turns out, you can only work non-stop for a couple of days before nature takes his right. He had been at Sharon’s home for two days, and he hadn’t slept since then. He took breaks, sure, but never long enough for sleep to come. He knew that the minute he closed his eyes, he would be filled with memories and no one would be here to hold him and make it better.

He still hasn’t talked to Jared, even though he kept texting him. Once his anger had faded a little, he read all of his texts, over and over again, because it was like having Jared there, and that was all he wanted now. He was also glad to know that he was alright, at least for now.

It was 3 pm and Jensen was starting to feel the consequences of not sleeping for so long. His eyes were burning, it was hard to move his arms and legs, and his brain wasn’t responding anymore. Sharon told him that he should sleep, or at least took some air. The first one was out of question, and even though the second wasn’t pleasant either, it was his best option.

The store was ten minutes away from the house. He could go, buy one or two things for Jared’s parents, and he would be more awake when he came back.

He stayed in front of the closed door for a long time, trying to put all the bad thoughts away. It was day, there was a big bright sun in the sky, people were out, nothing could happen. Well, nothing that bad, anyway.

At the first feeling of the fresh air against his skin, he was glad of his decision. He was still tired, but the feeling of the sun again his skin was giving him some energy.

The store was practically empty, except for the cashier and an old lady who was telling him how her cats were once stuck in the cellar and she had to call her son who broke the door. The cashier didn’t seem to care at all, but he smiled politely, while the old lady kept talking.

Jensen was walking between the store shelves, trying to decide what he should take. He didn’t bother looking for what was missing before he went out, and he had only ate compote, a fruit stew-syrup, for the last two days. He was standing in front of the beers section, debating if he should buy some for Jared’s father, when he felt someone watching him. When he turned around, no one was there, predictably. Even before he knew the man was out, he felt like he was being observed, and he was happy to blame that on his paranoid state. He finally bought milk, because it was the only thing he could think of.

He was already walking home when he saw the old lady from the store trying to put her bags into her car. He debates for a moment if he should help her or not. He really wanted to go home, but the poor lady was failing completely at her taste.

He sighs, and walks towards her.

“Need a hand?”

She jumped a little, obviously not excepting to see someone, but quickly recovers and smiles brightly.

“That would be lovely, dear.”

Jensen smiled back and put her bags inside her car quickly. He won an apple in reward, as well as a pinched cheek.

He shakes his head while smiling, watching her drive away. He wonders what he will be like when he’s her age. In all the scenarios, Jared was next to him, and he couldn’t help but felt sick knowing that right now, that scenario was in danger.

When he turned around, he collapsed into someone, making the other man’s bags fall onto the pavement.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” He picked up all the groceries, feeling like a complete idiot. 

“No need to be sorry, mon petit.”

Jensen froze instantly, his heart beating in his ears. He would have recognized that voice between any and all, and that nickname that makes him felt sick automatically. He couldn’t get up, couldn’t lift his head. Maybe if he runs, or maybe if he hits him strong enough, he could get away.

He didn’t had time to do any of those things though, because as soon as he gets up, tensed, the man hits him over the head with something and everything begins to fade away. The last thing he thinks about is Jared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only mention once how Jensen find out, so just to be clear he reads a text from Chad on Jared's phone, which was about the case. Hope that's clear.   
> Comments are love !


	9. Chapter 9

 

“When I was four, I met a young boy at the park. I was crying like a baby under the slide, because some mean kid had stolen my cookies. He sits next to me and shares his cookie with me, without even knowing my name. When I came home later, I asked my mom if my friend could come live with us. She told me that it wasn’t possible, because you have to be at least in the same family to live together. I remember thinking really hard to find a way to make that possible, and I came to my mom again. I told her that since he had to be family to live with me, then I’ll marry him. She laughed and told me that I had plenty of time to think about getting married. 17 years later, I’m marrying my best friend, and I couldn’t be more happy about it.” He looked at Jensen and took his hands. “We were family way before getting married, but I am glad to be able to call you my husband.”

Jensen was blushing hard and he couldn’t stop smiling at him. He kissed Jared on the lips, his arms sliding around his waist.

“You’re such a sap.”

“But you love me right?”

“Yes I do.” 

 

One day. 24 hours. That was the amount of time that Jensen had been missing, when Jared’s mom had called him, hysterically, telling him that Jensen wasn’t _here_ , hasn’t been home for a couple hours, and wasn’t answering his phone.

There were no witnesses, only an old lady who told them that Jensen had helped her with her grocery. When she had left, he was alive and alone. The cashier of the supermarket didn’t even recognize Jensen, and when they showed him a picture of the sandman, he didn’t recognize him either. The cameras, however, prove them that he had been there, that they both had been there, at the same time. When Jensen was standing in front of the beers section, the sandman was in the aisle next to him, staring at him. Jared felt his stomach coil up when he saw it. Since when was he following Jensen? Had he always been there, from the start? There were men who were supposed to watch Jensen, from a long distance, and they didn’t see anything. Weren’t even in the same city as him. Apparently, they didn’t take their job seriously, and gave up after a week. A week. Which means that all this time, Jensen had been in danger, with no one to protect him.

He should have told him. From the beginning, he should have told him. But it was too late to think about that now. He needed to focus on finding Jensen before he could get hurt again. He saved him once, he could do it again.

 

 

 

Cold. It was _so_ cold. Jensen could no longer feel his feet, and his head was hurting, and when he touched it, he felt blood on his fingers. But that wasn’t the worst. No, the worst was his eyes. He couldn’t open them, the pain being too strong, and for a moment, he thought about putting his hands on them. But then he remembered that it only made things worse. Because every time he tried to rub the sand out of his eyes, he was in fact only pushing it deeper, making it even sorer. So he didn’t touch his eyes. He was just trying to control his breathing for now, and he put his head into his arms, curling into himself so he could disappear.

“You changed so much, honey boo,” Jensen heard next to his ear, the voice making him sweat, “You grew up. You’re not a kid anymore. But that’s ok, I still love you.” The man put his hand on his hair, caressing his head, and Jensen tried to think about something, anything else other than this. He thought about Jared, how he took him in his warm arms to sleep every night, how he kissed his neck tenderly, telling him again and again how much he loved him. Maybe if thought about it enough, he could pretend that Jared was here, next to him, instead of his monster. The man pulled at his hair violently, trying to force him to lift his head. One of his hands held onto his jaw, his nails sinking in his skin.

He has no idea since he’s been here where he is. He was asleep for the whole trip here, and since he couldn’t open his eyes for the moment, he couldn’t see if the sun was up. Even if he could, there was probably no windows.

“I saw you, you know. With this _man_. I saw you cocking for him, kissing him, blowing him, getting fucked by him, begging for more, _harder, deeper_.” The man’s mouth was on his ear, biting his lobe brutally, “You were so pretty. But not as pretty as you were with me. Not even close.”

Jensen didn’t answer, only kept his head between his arms, refusing to move. He had _been_ there, in front of his house, and he and Jared hadn’t seen a thing. He felt so dirty that it was painful; his skin was burning, and he fights against himself not to rip it apart.

“He took you away from me once, but he will never do it again. Don’t worry, mon petit, I will protect you.”

He wanted to scream, to tell him that Jared will be here soon, and that he will _kill_ him, put a bullet between his eyes. But he stays silent. Answering would only make him pissed, and that was the last thing he wanted.

“You’re right sweetie, don’t talk for now. You will need your energy for later,” The man dropped a kiss on his forehead, “I’m gonna make sure you never leave, honey boo.”

The sandman gets up and starts kicking him in the ribs, the face, and the legs. Jensen bites his lips to prevent himself from screaming, refusing to give this to the man.

The man kissed his head one last time and left, promising him to be back soon.

He knew what was coming later, and he could only hope that Jared would be here in time.


	10. Red Thread

_People forget quickly. It doesn’t matter if it’s something important or not; they just forget._

_When Jensen went missing, people were coming from everywhere so they could help find him, passing their nights raking every inch of the town, extending the research to the whole county. There were dogs, police officers, neighbors, some strangers that were only there because they couldn’t stay without doing anything. They would find Jensen, that’s what everybody kept saying. With all those people, with all those resources, how could they not?_

_The problem is, as much as people wanted to find Jensen, they also forgot him. A month later, the amount of people looking for Jensen was decreased by half. Two months later, even the police seemed to give up._

_Nobody knew where to look, how to look. Or if it was worth looking. They weren’t looking for a child anymore - they were looking for a dead body._

_Jensen’s parents, Jared’s, and Officer Morgan. That’s all the people who kept looking for Jensen, who kept having faith. But it wasn’t enough, not at all._

_Jared missed Jensen. He missed the way they would play together, how Jensen would tell him stupid jokes, how they pranked their parents, how they would spend the night telling each other stories and secrets, until Jensen’s mom told them that they were making too much noise._

_So, Jared listened. When no one knew he was there, when they all thought he was asleep, he listens to all the conversations, all the things that no one would say in front of him._

_That’s how he learned that The Sandman was going inside children’s bedroom, making them sleep so he could carry them away. Jensen wasn’t his first. Wouldn’t be his last, if they didn’t get to him soon enough. He was in the woods, they knew that, because that’s where he always went. But what woods? Maybe he was in another county, in another state. They couldn’t know. They wouldn’t know if they stayed home, doing nothing._

_Jared left a note. He told his parents not to worry, that he was bringing Jensen home, that he will be back._

_And he was gone. Just like that._

_Three days later, Officer Morgan found Jared and Jensen in a basement, deep in the woods, Jared’s arms protectively around a weak, scared, hurt but alive Jensen._

 

 

There’s a legend that says that soulmates are joined by a red thread. No matter where they are, or who they are with, they will always find their way back to each other.

Jared couldn’t think of anything truer.

He was close to Jensen, he could felt it in his stomach. He knew that the forest would be a dead end, the Sandman was way too smart for that. Jensen was tall, and the man was old, which means that he couldn’t move him like he wanted. Or at least, not in so little time.

That’s when he thought about his old school. It was in town, and no one had put a foot in there for the last ten years, after the principal committed suicide inside it. The priest told everyone that the ghost of the poor man was trapped inside, and even if the said priest was interned 3 months later for dementia, no one wanted to take the risk.

It was their only track, and if it wasn’t the right one, he didn’t know where else to look.

 

 

 

 

The man gave him a glass of water and Jensen used it to clean his eyes. He knows that he was supposed to drink it, because it was the only glass he would have for the next three days, but he didn’t intend on staying for that long.

He was in a basement, like he thought he would be, but it wasn’t like the first time. He had been here before, he could remember.

His old school.

Jared and he had gone to the basement one afternoon, spending the time playing stupid games and eating chocolates that they stole from their mothers. The teachers had been looking for them all day, and they had been grounded for two weeks.

It means that if he could get out of here, he would know where to run. He wasn’t lost in the woods, he wasn’t a child anymore. He wasn’t weak.

He heard the sound of someone coming and closed his eyes quickly. If he could pretend that he still couldn’t see, then he could surprise the man.

Something wasn’t right though, the man was running towards Jensen, collapsing next to him. He felt a hand on his head and he recognized it immediately. He opened his eyes wide and saw Jared next to him.

“Jay?”

“Hey baby,” Jared smiled emotionally and kissed his head, “I’m gonna get you out of here, alright?”

Jensen nodded, too caught in the moment to think about anything. Jared helped him to get up, supporting most of his weight. He was still dizzy because of the drugs that the man gave him earlier.

“Are you alright?” Jared quickly looked him over, scouring his injuries and bruises.

“Yea,” Jensen said, leaning on Jared, which reassured him that he was hurt, but not _badly_.

“You’re gonna be ok, Jen, don’t worry.”

“I know.” He put his hand on Jared’s, “I know.”

They were moving to the stairs when they heard someone coming. He felt Jared freeze next to him, but only for a moment.

“Jen, babe, you need to hide and cover your eyes. You got it?”

“What? Why?”

“Just do as I say.”

“I-”

He couldn’t finish his sentence because Jared was pushing him over to the corner next to the stairs.

After that, everything happened too quickly for Jensen to even register it. The Sandman saw Jared, jumped on him, and they started fighting. Jared tried to get his gun out but the man pushed it away. He was then on top of Jared, with both hands around his neck. 20 years in jail had apparently made him strong. Jared was fighting back, and he succeeded in sending punches to the man, but it didn’t do much. They were both equally strong, but Jared was tired; probably hadn’t slept in days.

Jensen saw the gun on the floor and didn’t think a second before taking it into his hands. When they heard the click of the gun, they both stopped.

“What are you doing honey boo? You’re not gonna shoot me, are you? You need more, remember?”

“No I _don’t_ ,” Jensen said firmly.

“Of course you do. I’m the love of your life, your first true love. You should have stayed with me forever. You love being here, I remember how you begged me to-”

“Shut up!” He yelled, pointing the gun on the man, “Shut the fuck up.”

“Or what? We both know that you’re not strong enough to shoot.”

He was right. Jensen wasn’t strong enough to take the shot. He couldn’t do it. As much as he would love to say he could, it was false. Because he was still scared of the man, even now, with a gun in his hands. He still had the same power over him, the same one that was forcing him to stop screaming, to stop talking. But one look to his husband’s hurting face and he pushed his fear of the man away. Jared had spent so much time protecting him, now it was his turn.

He shoots, three times, the gunshots echoing around the walls. The blood spurts on both him and Jared, but he didn’t care. He had killed him. He had _done_ that.

“Jen, babe, give me the gun please.”

He only then realized that Jared was in front of him, his hands outstretched in his direction. He gave him the gun, eyes still locked on the man’s face, until Jared took him in his arms, forcing him to hide his face in his chest.

“You did so good Jensen. I’m so proud of you. Come on, let it all out Jen. It’s ok.”

He realized that he was crying, his body shaking violently. He was lifted from the ground into Jared’s arms, and then everything went black.


	11. Chapter 11

“Jay, would you stop, I just want to go to the bathroom.” He was trying to be upset but he couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, and you’ve got a broken rib, so I have the _right_ to be over protective.”

“Mama Bear,” Jensen whispered, which earned him a slight punch in his shoulder.

It was two weeks after the events, and even if everyone expected Jensen to breakdown, nothing happened. In fact, he felt freer than he had ever felt. Sure, he had nightmares, from that night and from before. But other than that, he was good.

He went back to his house with Jared, after his husband apologized profusely for the thirtieth time. Truth is, he was forgiven long ago, but Jensen loved to hear him said that he loved him and that he was the best, so he didn’t say anything.

His mom visited him. It wasn’t some deep, loving reunion, but they did talk a little, and it was the best they did in years. Before she left, Jensen kissed her cheek. She left before he could see the tears running on her face.

Apparently, escaping from his kidnapper by killing him was building him quite a reputation, and his enterprise was better than ever.

He still had a lot to work on, but he was convinced that he could do it. With Jared by his side, everything would be alright.

“I love you,” he whispered to Jared, curling into his arms.

“I hope you do, babe,” Jared kissed his nose. “I love you too.”

 

 

 

_1994_

_“Where are the boys?” Sharon asks._

_“In Jensen’s room probably. We just finished it, so they’re probably reveling in it.” Donna had a proud smile on her face. They’ve been working on this house for so long now, and it was finally coming to an end. “Come on, you should see it too, it’s really beautiful.”_

_She guides her to the room, their husbands following them while debating about god knows what. Donna was right, the room was beautiful, full of colors and brand new furniture, Jensen’s bed was even in the form of a car, and Sharon could already tell that Jared will want the same._

_“Look mom, Jensen’s got a stuffed toy of Simba!” Seeing that his mother didn’t get it, Jared shows her the cuddly toy, “From the Lion King!”_

_“Oh,” Sharon says, taking the thing in her hand. She did remember her son talking about this movie for weeks now. “It’s awesome honey.”_

_“I can give it to you,” Jensen says, a smile on his face._

_“Really?” There were stars in Jared’s eyes, and Donna had to hold back her ‘aw’, “I could give you my monkey one! That way, we can both have something from each other!”_

_The little boys keep talking about their plans and what they were gonna exchange, under the proud and lovely smile of Donna. Sharon was more reserved, she never really understands why her boy loves Jensen so much. Not that he wasn’t nice or anything, but it was too much love. She couldn’t ask anyone, though, because what was she supposed to say? “My son said he wants to marry his best friend”? No. Like hell someone would ever know that._

_“You replace the windows too?” Gerald asks._

_“Yes, it’s supposed to hold back all the cold from outside,” Alan explains, standing next to Gerald._

_“Did you put on a lock?”_

_“No, why would I do that?”_

_“Because the windows can be opened from outside,” Gerald replies, frowning._

_“You worry too much, my friend,” Alan puts his hand on Gerald’s shoulder, squeezing it, “Come on, it’s lunch time!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the end everyone !  
> Thanks for reading until here, I really hope that you loved this fic as much as I did.  
> The end was really predictable, but it was important to have a true closure, especially for Jensen. Killing this man may allow him to move forward, and be his own person, live "outside" of Jared, because he was really co-dependent on him.  
> I will answer any questions so don't be shy ! 
> 
> Also, there's a lot of things I didn't talk about and that I wish I had, like Jensen Relationship with his mother but also his father. If some of you want to read about it, leave a comment? Just so I know if I should write something or not.


End file.
